This past month, I have been privileged with the opportunity to try medications to help me manage symptoms of ADHD. After years of therapy, months of waiting lists, assessments, doctors, nurse practitioners, and psychiatrists, I finally had a diagnosis, prescription, and a lot of hope. In addition to talking with doctors, I had done hours of reading online in order to weigh the pros and cons and to better understand what I might experience with medications. I was fed up with not being able to do basic tasks. Or more precisely, with not being able to interact with people and my environment in a way that felt synonymous to how I felt on the inside.
Since starting on them, I have experienced a sense of relief, optimism, worry, and disappointment. Surprisingly, I’ve also started feeling like I am late to the party. While I'm optimistic about my projects, others around me are understandably stressed. While I feel like I'm finally back in my body, others feel like they're burnt out of theirs. My revived sense of engagement feels almost inappropriate and alienating now. Was the party something I had imagined?
But I've learned that I am able to listen to those around me and lend a supportive ear in ways that I wasn't able to before. While I had been fantasizing about being able to complete day to day tasks, I hadn't realized how lonely I was. I had justified my isolation with the feeling that maybe I didn't want friends. So, instead of letting my uneasiness with being the most energetic person in the room push me down, I've started to appreciate how this lack of tiredness can help me to devote energy to connecting with others, and ultimately be a better classmate, friend, partner, listener.
Each person's experience with medication to treat ADHD is unique. Over the past month, I have experienced both positive and negative effects from starting medications. Surprisingly, the most rewarding part of taking them, for me, has been the improved capacity to listen and care for people around me.
Comentarios